Starting the Habit of Self Breast Examination: From Fear and Anxiety to Love, Care, and Appreciation
How Do We Start the Habit of Self Breast Examination from a Place of Love and Appreciation?
Let me start by saying something important: the majority of breast lumps are benign and very common. Most women have some lumps or lumpy areas in their breasts at different times, often due to normal hormonal changes. Most breast lumps do not turn out to be cancer.
So remember—noticing a lump does not mean you have cancer.
Still, it’s really important to get to know your breasts and to
get checked as soon as possible if you notice any changes.
Having said that, we all know that getting familiar with our breasts and checking them regularly should be a habit as important—if not more important—than brushing our teeth or showering every day. Why? Because it could potentially save our life.
And yet, the majority of us don’t do it.
When I received my cancer diagnosis, I quickly understood what all the fuss about early detection was really about. Believe me—when it comes to cancer, size matters. It can be the difference between having a mastectomy or a lumpectomy; between surgery alone or surgery plus chemotherapy. It may be the difference between the cancer being confined to the breast or having spread to the lymph nodes or beyond—completely influencing treatment options and prognosis.
Self breast examination is not a replacement for breast cancer screening methods like mammograms and ultrasounds, of course. But it is an amazing free tool that we all have. It can be done at home, it takes very little time, and it can be incredibly effective in detecting lumps or changes in the breasts or surrounding areas that need further investigation.
In fact, studies have shown that around 25% or more of breast cancers are first discovered this way.
So why is it so hard to make it into a habit?
I believe there's not just one reason, but one we don’t talk about enough is that self breast examination can be surrounded by shame, fear, and anxiety. Much of the anxiety comes from the “what ifs”—what if I find something wrong?
But early detection matters. It saves lives.
This practice is not aboutfinding something bad—it’s about giving ourselves the
best possible chance for early intervention if it’s needed.
And think about this: when was the last time you looked at your breasts with love instead of criticism?
Women’s breasts may be one of the most criticised parts of the human body. What do you think? From adolescence onward, many of us are exposed to opinions about our breasts—too small, too big, the “wrong” shape. Society teaches us, consciously or unconsciously, that our breasts are not lovable as they are. Shame often starts early.
I think our breasts are amazing—regardless of their shape or form. I wish I had realised this earlier.
So I’d like to suggest a shift in mindset:
Let’s turn self breast examination into a
positive habit of self-care, love, and appreciation, rather than something driven by fear.
How Do We Start the Habit of Self Breast Examination from a Place of Love and Appreciation?
1. Start with the Basics: Set a Routine
Choose a consistent time each month.
If you still have periods, the best time is a few days after your period ends. If you don’t, pick the same day every month—perhaps the first of the month.
Try linking it to an existing habit, such as while showering or after applying body lotion. That way, it doesn’t feel like another task—it becomes part of your routine.
2. Take the Pressure Off the Outcome
The goal is not to find something wrong—it’s simply to get to know your breasts and check in with your body.
If you notice something that worries you, try not to panic. As mentioned earlier, most lumps are benign. Getting it checked by a doctor is the key to clarity and peace of mind.
3. Reframe How You Look at Your Breasts
Before you begin, pause for a moment. Look at your breasts in the mirror and acknowledge them with appreciation. Think about all they may have done for you—nourishing a child, being part of your identity, or simply being a beautiful part of who you are.
Try to soften criticism. Even if society’s standards say otherwise, remember: your body is unique, and it is perfectly imperfect. This shift—from judgment to appreciation—can make the process feel empowering rather than intimidating.
4. Break It Down into Simple Steps
In front of a mirror (standing or sitting):
Step 1: Look at your breasts with your arms at your sides. Notice any changes in size, shape, or skin (such as redness, dimpling, or rash). Then gently press your hands against your hips to see if there are any changes when the muscles contract.
While lying down (often the best position to feel breast tissue):
Step 2: Use the pads of your fingers—not the tips—to feel your breasts. Start from the outer edge and work inward, covering the entire breast in a circular motion. Don’t forget the underarm area and up toward the collarbone.
Step 3: Apply gentle but firm pressure. Move in circular or up-and-down patterns—whichever feels most natural to you.
Standing up (in the shower or after bathing):
Step 4: Soap or water can help your fingers glide more easily. Feel the breasts in the same way as when lying down, making sure all areas are covered. If you notice anything unusual, remember—most lumps are not cancer, but they should be checked by a doctor as soon as possible.
5. Go at Your Own Pace
If the idea feels intimidating, take it slowly. You don’t have to do a full exam straight away. You might start by checking one breast and gradually build confidence over time. Comfort comes with familiarity.
6. Educate and Support Each Other
If you feel comfortable, talk to friends or loved ones about self breast examination. Sharing experiences can reduce stigma and fear—and encourage others to create this habit too.
7. Revisit Your Feelings
If emotions come up—fear, anxiety, relief—know that this is completely normal. Take a moment to reflect or journal about how you feel. Processing these emotions can make the next exam feel lighter and more grounded.
The key is consistency and self-compassion. When self breast examination becomes an act of care rather than fear, it turns into a loving ritual—just like brushing your teeth. You are taking care of yourself, not searching for something to be wrong.
I wish for every woman to look at her breasts with love, care, and appreciation. And for every girl to learn this from her mother, so she carries this habit with her for life.
So—are you ready to start caring for, appreciating, and loving your breasts?
Think about when you’ll begin. Add it to your calendar! Show up to your monthly “appointment” with yourself and notice how it feels.
I would love to hear your thoughts or experiences. Please feel free to get in touch.
Wishing you love and health,
Raquel
